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Old 04-24-2009, 10:33 AM  
Worriedson
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Default Step-Dad disaster

So, welcome to my first post! My name is Nick, I am 18, and live in central Massachusettes. Basically the middle of nowhere, however, out here there are some beautiful old farm houses. My mother's house is a 200 year old victorian sitting on 1/4 acre of land. We have two floors not including the attic or basement. The house is currently undergoing some renevations, all DIY and unfortunately my step-father, who has no talent what so ever, is doing a lot of this work. Mostly because he doesn't have a job, so he needs some way to actually earn his stay here. We recently put up new wallpaper in our dining room, however, he decided he wanted to put up new lights and started ripping up the plaster from the ceiling. Without my mother's knowledge or approval. She was pissed, not only because she wanted to keep the old fixture, but now he made a huge mess. Did I forget to mention that during his process of "restoring" the moldings for the doors and floor, he managed to loose two peices, and they are not small peices either. Not to mention the fact that; they are original to the house, they are cherry, and he costed my mother more money because now they need to be replaced.

But, let's bring some attention to his current blunder. The ceiling, first off he doesn't know what he is doing. Not saying that I could do infinately better, but my father was a carpenter and mechanic by trade and I have seen these sort of things done right and know when it is wrong. Hold for pictures on this one. It is hard to explain without them.


I'll have them taken as soon as he is out of the way.



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Old 04-24-2009, 06:18 PM  
Nestor_Kelebay
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I would try talking to him. Maybe there are other things he could do to "earn his keep" without causing problems.

Does he have any experience doing this kind of work?



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Old 04-24-2009, 07:53 PM  
inspectorD
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Default Huh..

Sounds like a bonding project.
If he is not all that handy, you should try with some patience and lots of free books at the local library. I would start there.
The ol sayin is....if you give a man a fish he eats for a day. If you teach a man to fish he eats for a lifetime...soooo eventually you end up with a maintained home.
Work on the positive....you get more done.
And we are all here to help, we have made plenty of blunders ourselves....you gatta start somewhere.

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Old 05-02-2009, 03:02 AM  
Jim McClain
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Sounds to me like you are spending too much time in your head making comparisons. He's not your father and never will be. I doubt he's even trying to fill those shoes for you. It sounds like he's just trying to be a partner to your mother and you. Let him. Allow him his mistakes. It's likely his financial burden too and he recognizes that, which is why he wants to do as much as he can himself.

Help him. If you spent time working with your father, you prob'ly have loads of good experience you can share with your step-father. Don't be stingy with it. I bet he would really enjoy working with you, especially if he knows you have some experience to offer the projects. Don't make the mistake of letting him blunder through without your expertise, maybe hoping it will make him look bad. It won't. Your mother prob'ly knows you could lend a hand to avoid the worst mistakes, so it'll be you that looks bad.

Yeah, like inspectorD said, it's a bonding project - you and the new step-father. Give it time and try to be patient and tolerant. Your mom is.

Best R'gards,

Jim

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