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handyguys · 10-20-2010, 06:31 AM

Sell the car and buy one cash. One for like $600 or $1000. I sold one a couple years ago for $500 that was fine, pretty nice actually. Hopefully you can sell yours, pay off the loan and have enough to buy one without a loan. Thats what you should do. Then sell the house and move in with your parents.

DrHicks · 10-20-2010, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alwaysbrokegirl

Well this weekend I am starting with a 2 day yard sale to try and sell a bunch of stuff I don't need or want... may even give some away.

I hope to make "some" money though... because I have less than $20 bux to my name right now, and living off Ramon noodles at work.

Anyway, after I get a lot of unwanted stuff out of there and get down to the bare minimum I can go from there.
Our couch is no good.. its all stained up and torn so I am throwing it out.
I know a lot of our problem is all the dirt, cat pee, hair balls, fur and cob webs on everything!!
You see.. him and I have been having marriage problems for about 5 years now and the last year or 2 we both just basicly said F'it we are not doing anything anymore. (around the house, cleaning ect..)
So, we let things go more... and now its SO bad I can't take it any longer.. I am so sad and depressed I am either going to sell everything I own and move out or I am going to go insane...and hurt someone or myself.. I don't know.
No one on earth should EVER have to live like this, not even a animal!!
I will admit, I was not raised to have to always keep my room clean or make my bed everyday when I was growing up but my parents at least kept the house pretty clean.
No his family are almost like neat freaks and if I stayed the night over there I had to make the bed every day and keep my clothes off the floor ect.. (which I didnt always do) and I got my azz chewed out.
ANYWAY.... I plan to sell or get rid of almost everything I have except my computer, my tv, and my car.
Yes, that is the FIRST thing everyone says is get rid of the car. Well... I would sell it or what I owe and then how am going to get another car? I would have to save up $400 a month to get one or a down payment on one. All those "tote-the note lots want $175 or 200 ever 2 weeks so there ya go again.. payments and you have to worry about breaking down because its a older 90's or early 2000's model car.
So... I rather just keep this one and drive it until the wheels fall off...

I understand that you're in a tough spot. But again, if you want things to change, you're going to have to make them change. And that's not going to be easy.

Up to this point, you've been making excuses. Grew up messy, bad marriage, overwhelmed, etc. That has to stop.

You have to replace the excuses with intentional progress. A massive garage sale is a good move. A massive clean-up is extremely important. You have to start somewhere!

The animals living in your house. Honestly, I can only imagine how bad your house smells. Multiple cats & 3 dogs? A house absolutely cannot have that many animals in it without the house turning into a barn. You need to adopt them out to other families. Let them go. As a pet-owner myself, I know it's not going to be easy. But you must do this.

Your car... You have to do something different. $400 per month is more than my mortgage payment on a rental house I am buying. And we both know that insurance, gas, maintenance and registration is in addition to that $400 per month.

Go to a Hyundai and/or Kia dealer. They're always running insane specials on new cars. See if you qualify. You may very well get a new car for half the monthly expense you're now paying.

Or if you really want to save money, you can do what I do. Swallow your pride and drive older vehicles. My personal car is 14 years old and has about 350,000 miles on it. I do my own maintenance, so everything works right. But the point is that, unlike you, I'm NOT paying $5,000 per year on a car.

Again, sorry for the bluntness, but I deal with these kinds of issues with people all the time. Their/your greatest need is to stop looking at the symptoms as though they are the problem.

rnddude · 10-20-2010, 03:17 PM

ABG, you aren't on the right internet site to deal with the problems you have. Given your situation, there is nothing that can be done in the way of "fixing up" your home. How can you afford internet access and not food? I suspect a troll here....

alwaysbrokegirl · 10-20-2010, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rnddude

ABG, you aren't on the right internet site to deal with the problems you have. Given your situation, there is nothing that can be done in the way of "fixing up" your home. How can you afford internet access and not food? I suspect a troll here....

I have free wifi at work and that is when I am online. I work overnights...and not very busy up here most of the time so I get on the web.

budro · 10-21-2010, 05:43 AM

you need to take inventory of what you have. sell what you can at the yard sale this weekend. take a look around you. don't like what you see? change it. you say you and hubby have been on this downward spiral for years and now you want change? well, take a year, month, week, day, whatever and set yourself some goals. even if it is just to clean the kitchen this week. the extra bedroom next week, and so on. next month try to accomplish some other needed things. tomorrow do something positive. never ever look back when you are going forward. make your goals realistic. don't become this person who turns their house over to pets in an attempt to avoid reality. i love my pets but i love myself even more. if you don't want to get rid of some or most of them then definately take on no more. my wife and i have three dogs and a cat. 3 of 4 are rescues and we love them. when she sees another hard luck case and wants it i just say to pick one we already have to get rid of and we'll get that one. that always does the trick. if you make an extra fifteen dollars this weekend, go buy the book "the road less travelled" by dr. scot m. peck. if you will let it, it will change your outlook and attitude on life forever. i once didn't care if i saw tomorrow, today my financial statement would raise your eyebrows. it all starts with you. you have to want more for yourself than anyone else could possibly ever give you. yes you can. one day at a time. thank you for your time, budro

MSU Fan · 10-21-2010, 11:59 AM

Perhaps she should start with the library for any books that can help her?

alwaysbrokegirl · 10-26-2010, 12:20 AM

Well........... I am moving out and leaving him.. its over. I can't take the pain and depression any longer.

DrHicks · 10-27-2010, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alwaysbrokegirl

Well........... I am moving out and leaving him.. its over. I can't take the pain and depression any longer.

So... What's your plan?

nealtw · 11-24-2010, 09:30 PM

You want the truth. Stand back and give your head a shake. Nothing less than a gift from the church. What did you say to them to get that deal. Sell the car and take a bus. the library has computers for free use. Your lazy and spoiled and your looking for another deal like the church gave you. Take responibility for your partner, your pets,your house and yourself. Pride is earned with hard work. Whining and crying is fine but it is up to you to change what is wrong. You do know what is wrong.
Your next step is the first step of the rest of your life..

alwaysbrokegirl · 11-25-2010, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nealtw

You want the truth. Stand back and give your head a shake. Nothing less than a gift from the church. What did you say to them to get that deal. Sell the car and take a bus. the library has computers for free use. Your lazy and spoiled and your looking for another deal like the church gave you. Take responibility for your partner, your pets,your house and yourself. Pride is earned with hard work. Whining and crying is fine but it is up to you to change what is wrong. You do know what is wrong.
Your next step is the first step of the rest of your life..

I stopped and looked at a house one day and this person told me about this church that has 2 houses for sale and they might owner finance it for us. So we went up to the church and after a talk and a hand shake we moved in and started making payments at $350 per month. Soon after we were moved in we went and signed some papers/legal agreements that we are buying the house from them and that was that.
I do need to sell my car and I am trying to do that... I have not moved out of the house yet, but I plan to in Jan. after I get my income tax money. I am going to move out of town and in with my mom.
That house just needs so much.. it will take with years to fix it half way decent. I did find out this week were able to claim the roof on our insurance so we are now able to get a new roof so that will stop the rain from flooding in the living room now. That's 1 good thing that has happened.

I do plan to change and its coming very soon...