Hi Tophersgirl:
It sounds as if you have never done anything like this before. Thats OK. Everyone had to start at some point. What you need to do is to get advice from someone who can see the specific colors you are trying to match and has experience with the different products.
But before you decide what to do, consider these ideas:
1) The best way to have the chairs and table legs match the table top is to also refinish the table top. If you want an exact match (and you should), this is probably the best way
2) There isn't any decorating rule that says the table and chairs have to match the cabinets. I can't remember ever seeing a kitchen where they did, but I never looked for anything like that.
Based on your questions, you should do some basic research on refinishing furniture. This isn't hard. Your local library will have information, you can "Google" the subject and look through the 'how-to' section at your local 'big box' store. Our local Home Depot even had a demonstration on a recent weekend.
After you've thought about (1) and (2), try to find a local paint or woodworking store. My experience is that you can usually get good advice in these places. I don't know how easy that is where you live in North Dakota, but do the best you can. Explain what you want to do and follow their advice. It probably would be helpful to bring along one of the chairs (or table legs) and a door from the cabinets.
