Toilet seat of DOOM

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gottodo1

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Okay, we moved in our house and we bought a new $80 toliet seat cover... it was $80 because it was the only color my wife liked.... well it broke. SO we've looked for almost a year and can't find a similiar dark color, SO I'm making one. I'm about ready to start but then I come up with a ton of questions!

I love poly, I mean REALLY love the stuff, it's my best friend, BUT is Poly the right sealer for a toilet seat? Looking online would a spar varnish be better?

I had just planned to use Oak so it matches all the other wood I've built & stained in the house but, any reasons why another would be better (tried to talk my wife into cedar hehe).

I'm also thinking (not very hard) about putting a ceramic coil in the seat as a seat warmer maybe 50W so when the light comes on the seat starts to warm up, as well as install some stepper motors and a gear drive to automate the toilet seat moving up/down. (ignore dangers of heater near water I can handle that part as I've got a plan to virtually hermetically seal it and I've tried peeing on an electric fence it doesn't work).

If I go the electric route, maybe I aught to put a UV light in the cover as well so it kills the bacteria on the toilet seat.

But ignoring the electric stuff the main question is about the wood/sealer that would be optimal for this application.
 
gotta be brave or drunk, or both, to pee on an electric fence. I think the acids in your body will deteriorate the poly paint. I would go with a 2 part epoxy , marine , paint
 
Stainless steel (solid) is the only way to go for such a project. Get your blanks cut from one inch thick plate with a water jet and finish the contour with a CNC mill and extrude hone polish for the finish. I would suggest a four micro finish or better. You will have a dandy of a lid that will stand up to the test of time.

Of course add all the bells and whistles to suit.
 
OK, your post is a complete put on ...

Spar varnish is best because it resists water and we know you never lift the seat.

If you need a seat warmer, you are planning on staying too long.

A UV light is a wonderful idea, just make sure to slather yourself with sunscreen on the backside before mounting the throne ... you might get a sunburn.

THANKS FOR THE LAUGH ...

sunburn_butt_stab_1.jpg
 
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Villa, you caught me I was mostly being an humorous but after going to Japan they REALLY love their toilet seats, even the one Neal shows pails in comparison to what I saw over there. though I only want a wooden seat with a durable finish.

Neal,
I thought acrylic really wasn't good for moist areas but that one is interesting, at $320/Gal ($100/quart) it's also one of the most expensive things I've ever considered... I'm not much of a spray paint kinda guy so I'm not sure how I feel about that... and since I'd be sitting on it I think I'd rather have it really smooth than textured. Also if I were a werewolf I would steer clear of this silver stuff unless I wanted to encourage short visits to the bathroom!

Bud,
The lid was the first thing to snap but the part you sit on will also be made as well since it's about to crack in half. My child (~80 pounds) stood on the lid and it crack also damaging the seat. I actually have access to all of that equipment BUT my wife wants it to match the new baseboards, framing, coat racks, chairs and everything else I've built so... I don't think metal will meet her requirement, even if it was heated....
The reason I was thinking heated is because in ND water comes in at 34 degrees a good part of the year so when the toilet fills it gets cold, and so does the seat with 4 people using 1 upstairs toilet....

Elbo,
Myth busters disproved it as bunk and I have also dis proven. As even a garden hose wasn't enough to conduct a significant amount of electrical current. Air is an Excellent insulator so even one minor break in the stream and the current will go down to pico/femto Amps. NOW where I did see a problem was if my son was peeing and he was only elevated a few inches above the seat and there was a short.... and soak through the wood to get to the coil.... ya very unlikey but if ti happened... I imagine it'd only happen once :D
 
Neal, Not that I'm progressive by any means but "I do like me a good indoor toilet"
 
metal toilet seat plus cold toilet area = 1 tush stuck to the metal seat
 
metal toilet seat plus cold toilet area = 1 tush stuck to the metal seat

I actually had thought wouldn't it be a good prank if I set up a metal seat with an induction cooler then turned it on right before I go to work. Then I realized I value my life.
 
I have built several hundred toilet seats for Dussault Falcon Jets.Oak is a bad choice as they will split.Hard maple is a better option.I glued them together out of three pieces with lalf laps at the rear forming a U then contoured and shaped them.If you have a straight raised panel cutter it makes a nice comfy profile for the inside edge of the seat.
Got $200 each for these with no hardware or finish.Never had one returned.
When they received them they finished them with a epoxy finish to match the interior of the jet.
 

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