I have a moral dilemma.

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C

Chris

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So last weekend my wife's cousin overdosed and died. He has had a drug problem for years. My dilemma is the her other cousin sent me a link to a gofundme page to help pay for his cremation. Sounds normal right? Well her cousins and the kids parents are all well off people that don't need the money. The kicker for me is that they are spending thousands of dollars on chartering a boat out of San Diego for his memorial. It is hard for me to give money to people that don't need it and are foolishly spending what could be spent on what they are asking for.

It's hard for me because I don't want to be the guy that doesn't contribute but I also don't want to. On the other hand I want to throw s large sum at it just to prove a point.

What would you do?
 
I'd toss in a $100. It will make you look good and possibly stimulate others to cough up similar amounts. It also is about what a tank of fuel would cost you, so it isn't too much.
 
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Then when they don't talk to her any more it is not your fault.

" what ever you decide sweetheart"

My ex was having a problem with her brother over money, she had me do the talking, later it was all my fault.
 
We are the outcasts of her family. They all gossip and play games and we don't so they don't like that. Her cousins didn't talk to her grandparents for years because they were "mean" then when her grandma was in poor health they were nowhere to be found until the day she passed away and they were knocking at the door offering to help grandpa with his money and paying his bills for him as long as they were in control of the cash. He is worth a million or more and doesn't need their help. We just stand back and watch the games. we visit on christmas and maybe a couple other times throughout the year but thats it. just not our kind of people.
 
It's hard for me because I don't want to be the guy that doesn't contribute but I also don't want to. On the other hand I want to throw s large sum at it just to prove a point.

What would you do?

What point are to trying to prove, you have cash? You care? You miss the cousin? You want to be a good guy?

How did they respond when your mom passed?

Chris, just do what the little voice in your head tells you to do.
 
if she says F'em, then f'em



the choice in this matter is your wife's choice to make and you should back her up. what ever she decides



i disagree with oldawg, about the little voise in your head, it is your wife's family, it is the voice in her head on this matter
you are her husband, your duty is to her
 
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Impressive, Frodo and I agree:p

The wife should also consider this bunch will use the power of bitching to influence dad.
 
I have been well trained by my wife
 
If they don't need the money and your wife says "f-them", then I agree. Maybe send a condolences card at the most.
 
i disagree with oldawg, about the little voise in your head, it is your wife's family, it is the voice in her head on this matter
you are her husband, your duty is to her

You failed to read between the lines, me thinks you been hit in the head by too many Asian carp today...
 
I ended up giving them 200 bucks which is probably 199 more than I should have. Wife didn't want to give anything but I know her family and it would cause comments for the next year or two. I'm not sure why people feel the need to act the way they do or even why they are asking for money when they don't need it. I'm not gonna miss any of them if I move away.
 
They see me as a successful business owner and my wife has a good job. No matter how much I make from a dollar to a million they think I am wealthy. If I gave any less there would be comments about how cheap I am. They pretty much con'd me.

It's funny, they didn't know I even owned a company until a couple years ago. I just kept telling them I did construction and you should have seen how differently they treated me once they found out I owned the company. Before I was just a drunk construction worker and I liked that title. Never got asked for anything.
 
I told them I am looking into giving it up and leaving the state as the money to me is not worth the headache, stress and time I have to put into it and they just about flipped out. They couldn't understand that money means very little to me and as long as my bills are paid and my family is feed I am happy. I really do miss when I was younger and had to get creative with my projects and now I just buy new, kinda takes the fun out of it.

They are typical California, keeping up with the Jones and trying to look wealthy even if you are not. To most here money is what makes the world go round. I'd rather have a BBQ and a cold beer with some friends.
 

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