P = problem logged by pilot S = solution logged by mantinence crew P: Left inside tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside tire. P: Test flight OK, exept auto land very rough. S: Auto land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 FPM descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF alway's inoperative in OFF mode. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up and fly right. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise comming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding with a hammer. S: Took hammer from midget. Sounds like they have some fun at work...hope you all have a good week.