Funny Pictures and stories....

[ekrig]

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef!

 

[Eddie_T]

I wonder who uses this chart? (I hope my pharmacist doesn't need it)
Milliliters to Cubic Centimeters Conversions
(some results rounded)

mL	cc
0.500	0.5
0.501	0.501
0.502	0.502
0.503	0.503
0.504	0.504
0.505	0.505
0.506	0.506
0.507	0.507
0.508	0.508
0.509	0.509
0.510	0.51
0.511	0.511
0.512	0.512
0.513	0.513
0.514	0.514
0.515	0.515
0.516	0.516
0.517	0.517
0.518	0.518
0.519	0.519
0.520	0.52
0.521	0.521
0.522	0.522
0.523	0.523
0.524	0.524

mL	cc
0.525	0.525
0.526	0.526
0.527	0.527
0.528	0.528
0.529	0.529
0.530	0.53
0.531	0.531
0.532	0.532
0.533	0.533
0.534	0.534
0.535	0.535
0.536	0.536
0.537	0.537
0.538	0.538
0.539	0.539
0.540	0.54
0.541	0.541
0.542	0.542
0.543	0.543
0.544	0.544
0.545	0.545
0.546	0.546
0.547	0.547
0.548	0.548
0.549	0.549

mL	cc
0.550	0.55
0.551	0.551
0.552	0.552
0.553	0.553
0.554	0.554
0.555	0.555
0.556	0.556
0.557	0.557
0.558	0.558
0.559	0.559
0.560	0.56
0.561	0.561
0.562	0.562
0.563	0.563
0.564	0.564
0.565	0.565
0.566	0.566
0.567	0.567
0.568	0.568
0.569	0.569
0.570	0.57
0.571	0.571
0.572	0.572
0.573	0.573
0.574	0.574

mL	cc
0.575	0.575
0.576	0.576
0.577	0.577
0.578	0.578
0.579	0.579
0.580	0.58
0.581	0.581
0.582	0.582
0.583	0.583
0.584	0.584
0.585	0.585
0.586	0.586
0.587	0.587
0.588	0.588
0.589	0.589
0.590	0.59
0.591	0.591
0.592	0.592
0.593	0.593
0.594	0.594
0.595	0.595
0.596	0.596
0.597	0.597
0.598	0.598
0.599	0.599

 

[EricK]

The same people who go to England from America and bring an English to English translation

 

[Flyover]

The same people who go to England from America and bring an English to English translation

Weh'oh, es nuddorrays soorayzayda unnastain innit?

 

[Eddie_T]

 

[zannej]

 

[Krich]

Well, the system in the picture is certainly problematic

 

[Eddie_T]

 

[zannej]

 

[Eddie_T]

Always treat the person doing a colonoscopy well even though you know they're going to get you in the end.

 

[Eddie_T]

 

[Eddie_T]

One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a beautiful day. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says," Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing"?

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious"?)

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to write you up a ticket."

"For reading a book"? she replies.

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again.

"But officer, I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to write you up a ticket and you'll have to pay a fine."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"
But I haven't even touched you," says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he immediately departed.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

 

[Hamberg]

The same people who go to England from America and bring an English to English translation

Not sure about that, my wife watches those British detective stories and has to have closed captions on to understand what the hell they are saying!!!

 

[Eddie_T]

 

[Eddie_T]

 

[zannej]

Not sure about that, my wife watches those British detective stories and has to have closed captions on to understand what the hell they are saying!!!

I need closed captions on regular US shows because I have hearing issues, but even before my hearing was giving me problems I needed subtitles for some of the UK programs. The accents can be hard to understand sometimes.

There's a program called Sister Boniface and there's a character on there who most of the main characters can't even understand. He sounds kind of like a pirate, but there's a WPC who can understand and translate for him. Funny when a guy from Scotland Yard came out and was trying to ask the guy questions and couldn't understand a word he said.

 

[Eddie_T]

Spotted this on another forum;

I have a friend who is an ER doctor who bought a Tesla when they first came out because she believed all the hype. Yesterday she came up from the bay area driving a brand new Honda Ridgeline. She said she was paying way too much in electricity and time to drive the Tesla. Now she can just go to a gas station, fill up and go. She is much happier now.

 

[zannej]

Well, I didn't buy a Tesla but I drive a Honda Ridgeline. Great truck. You could fit a body in the trunk.
Did I say that out loud?

 

[Ron Van]

Well, I didn't buy a Tesla but I drive a Honda Ridgeline. Great truck. You could fit a body in the trunk.
Did I say that out loud?

Yes, you said it loud and clear!

 

[Hamberg]

Well, I didn't buy a Tesla but I drive a Honda Ridgeline. Great truck. You could fit a body in the trunk.
Did I say that out loud?

Only 1??