Funny clean jokes
1. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
3. What vegetable is cool, but not that cool? Rad-ish.
4. I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
5. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? She took a day off.
6. Worrying works! Case in point: 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
7. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate. I told them, “Just you wait!”
8. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
9. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know which comes first.
10. What do you call a magician who lost his magic? Ian.
11. I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I am OK.
12. I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He told me they all look that way and I should have left it in the garden.
13. Two men are on opposite sides of the river. The first man shouts, “How do I get to the other side of the river?” The other man yells, “You are on the other side of the river!”
14. Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect Goth-ham.
15. Every morning, I announce that I’m going running, but then I don’t. It’s a running joke.
16. Why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long? Because if it were 12 inches, it would be afoot.
17. What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.
18. What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barbecue.
19. I was going to tell a time-travelling joke, but you didn’t like it.
20. I can’t take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
