This comes up a lot so

[Guzzle]

I thought I give my views (on Ad Hominem).

Cops are supposed to put up with verbal abuse so I asked a DC Cop about this.
He said General Order #1 says “have a thick skin”.
However, if a crowd gathers then he can make some arrests.

My skin has mostly been thin, but I’m working on it.

Forum members on several forums have helped me with this, without knowing they are/have helping/helped me.

Thank you.

 

[Sparky617]

It helps if people discuss the idea rather than the person. Offer a different solution without attacking the other person's solution. Keeping this on home improvement/repairs/building/remodeling there are often more than one way to accomplish something.

When someone asks me how to do something, I'd much prefer they say hey I'm trying to accomplish X and this is what I'm thinking. What do you think of my way or do you have another way. Rather than asking me how to do something and then saying how they were thinking of doing it.

 

[Eddie_T]

I have had some silly suggestions such as removing the tank from a one-piece commode to access the stop valve and experts getting grumpy because I wouldn't follow their instructions. However, suggestions can help and even though they may not be the solution they trigger the thinking process. We just need to learn how not to criticize, words in print can be harsher than spoken word among friends. (Especially when talking about my male-to-male emergency generator cord.)

 

[Guzzle]

The book "Rationality" by Pinker clued me in to understanding why some people think off-the-wall stuff, IMO.

He said they are rationally pursuing their goal. So I have to ask, "What is their goal?"

Most pursue goals that I would never think of pursuing, but the world does not exactly view me as a "winner".

Getting to insults, I also find out that a forum member who insulted me tirelessly over a decade viewed my accomplishments as superior to his.
They're not, just different.
I'm sure he made a better living than me.
Making a better living was not my goal, more like getting thru each day.

 

[billshack]

I find some people have gone off the rails, I read a very good article in the nyt about how before the covid we had a frictionless economy where you could get anything you wanted when you wanted it . to now where you can't. and some people do not see why
. people acting like children about masks, vaccination, me me me . it is all about me .
a little slap therapy would help

 

[Sparky617]

I find some people have gone off the rails, I read a very good article in the nyt about how before the covid we had a frictionless economy where you could get anything you wanted when you wanted it . to now where you can't. and some people do not see why
. people acting like children about masks, vaccination, me me me . it is all about me .
a little slap therapy would help

I think a lot of people have had their buttons pushed one to many times. People going postal at the airport is a prime example. Herded around like cattle and treated with as much respect some people lose it. Well that and they're a--holes. Traveling can be pretty stressful, getting up at zero dark stupid to get to the airport on time, rushing to security, waiting in line, having to take off your shoes, belt, dump your pockets out, put your belongings into get x-rayed, throw in a surly TSA or gate agent and people lose it. You have to approach it with the right mindset and chill.

 

[Flyover]

@Sparky617 That is a good explanation for why people throw tantrums at airports (though it fails to explain why tantrums at airports don't happen even more often) but I don't see it as a good explanation for people's general mentality they go through life with, including what they bring to interactions with other people on the internet.

For that I think "posturing behind the keyboard" explains much more: when communicating anonymously, especially via text, it is trivially easy to put on a mask and pretend to be someone else, reinvent one's persona. Many people treat this as an opportunity to be a "tough guy" or even a bully. (Not just men do this, but I presume it's mostly men who do this.) Maybe it's an extension or exaggeration of who they are in real life, or maybe it's a chance to do what they never found they could get away with in real life. Then when a couple of "tough guys" find something to fight about (this usually boils down to thinking of themselves as members of opposing tribes), the dung-throwing begins, and it can go on for a long time if nobody stops it because the parties involved are really just doing what they came there to do. (My opinion based on observation.)

 

[Eddie_T]

We should all prolly heed to Mark Twain's advice;

Never argue with an idiot. You'll never convince the idiot that you're correct, and bystanders won't be able to tell who's who.​

​

​

​

 

[Sparky617]

@Sparky617 That is a good explanation for why people throw tantrums at airports (though it fails to explain why tantrums at airports don't happen even more often) but I don't see it as a good explanation for people's general mentality they go through life with, including what they bring to interactions with other people on the internet.

For that I think "posturing behind the keyboard" explains much more: when communicating anonymously, especially via text, it is trivially easy to put on a mask and pretend to be someone else, reinvent one's persona. Many people treat this as an opportunity to be a "tough guy" or even a bully. (Not just men do this, but I presume it's mostly men who do this.) Maybe it's an extension or exaggeration of who they are in real life, or maybe it's a chance to do what they never found they could get away with in real life. Then when a couple of "tough guys" find something to fight about (this usually boils down to thinking of themselves as members of opposing tribes), the dung-throwing begins, and it can go on for a long time if nobody stops it because the parties involved are really just doing what they came there to do. (My opinion based on observation.)

I find this behavior is more common the bigger the group becomes. I belong to a group with around 100 members on Facebook that spun off of a much larger 10,000+ members. The big groups gets into flame wars and nastiness all the time. The moderators that created the smaller group were very selective in who they invited to the group. I've met several of the members IRL and had dinner with them. I belong to a large bicycling group on FB and it is for the most part a pretty good group, but there are a few on there that just have to prove they have the biggest weenie. If this group got nasty, I'd probably just stop coming. I've learned a thing or two from the regulars and by questions noobs ask. Hopefully I've provided some decent answers that helped people. I'm not out to prove I'm smarter than anyone here. I know a thing or two, but don't work in the trades on a regular basis.