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Spicoli43

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Oh yeah, you are right about cats and old people. Cats are little furry terrorists. I had NO IDEA what would happen when I got them because cats in other people's houses either ran and hid when I visited or were well behaved. As a BONUS HA HA HA HA, mine are Female, so they are in HEAT constantly... I want to throw them over the damn fence and let the neighbor have them!

Old people NEVER listen. That's all there is to it, and I think it's mostly because I'm not a Doctor, AKA a legal drug dealer or an Oncologist, AKA a legal executioner. I told several old people in my life that had cancer they need to remove Sugar from their diet... 100 PERCENT, NO cheating because Glucose is the primary fuel for Cancer cells.... NOPE, all had to have their cookies and sodas etc... They all said "Why does my Doctor have fruity sugar crap in my room then"???

Because He's an Executioner.
 

shan2themax

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@Spicoli43 I have told her about sugar (I mean I consume it....however.. lol) because she complains of yeast. I however do not know what I am talking about though..... even though I am a nurse.

As a matter of fact, I think she is the only one who knows anything lol.

The infuriating part, she will act like nothing happened... that drives me crazy 🤯.

She has a pressure ulcer on her left elbow from sitting on the edge of the bed leaning on a tray table all the time. She says she gets them every winter there.. (duh... you just sit and lean all day every day) and she knew it was an ulcer.
I told her it was the same thing as a bedsores, to which she replied it wasn't.... because there is usually a hole under the skin. I attempted to explain stages (why? I'm an idiot) nonetheless, according to her.... I am wrong.... again .... nurse... work in hospital.... take care of bedsores..... what do I know?
Btw.... she has never taken care of an elderly person, or a small child since my son was like 3.... hes 32, or an immobile person to know these things.

I gave her some of the unscented calendula salve I made and asked her to put it on it. She says she did. Idk if she really did....
Here's a pic of it for fun 🙄20210911_141933.jpg

Her cats arent fixed early, so they are also in heat on and off... drives me nuts
 

Spicoli43

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HAHAHA WOW...... Sounds like she's just doing it to spite you. Anybody would figure the Nurse part would pass, but any 7 year old doing a SCIENCE experiment could explain the relationship between Yeast and Sugar!

I watch these stubborn old ladies sometimes..

 

shan2themax

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I am just glad that I kept the majority of what was swimming around my head out of my mouth.
This is all I have ever known, my kids have always told me she was selfish, narcissistic, etc but I have always said..... now bow, we dont know what it's like to be given away and the emotional toll that plays..... and while that's true.... it's also BS. It was 62 years ago, theres been plenty of time to delve into it.
I have to stop playing this dumb record.

I'm not even upset anymore... I just have seen today, that the big picture is that she does not care about my wants or needs and thinks I am terrible and has felt that way since I was 12 and more so since I was 17

Example:
She had me unmarried at 22, I've never met my dad, he didnt pay child support or anything. Yet when I got pregnant @16, had him at 17..... she told me I should have known better, to which I replied..... she was an adult..... she should have known better..... to which I was told that that simply wasn't true. I should have been the one to know better.
That's the sanity with her 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️
 

zannej

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Shan, the soap looks cool!

I'm very sorry about the situation with your mother. I know how that can be. Mine will refuse to do stuff she can easily do and complains if I'm not home to wait on her hand and foot-- even when I'm out getting groceries or taking care of something that needs to be done. She's gotten a little bit better about it lately though. She'll tell me I should go get a job and I have to remind her that she has a fit if I'm gone more than a couple of hours and that me having a job would mean she would have to fend for herself and she doesn't like that. She wants me to have a paying job but still be home to wait on her. I do plan to get a job once this pandemic passes though. Really hoping I can get something online if we can get better internet. I wouldn't mind being online text only tech support.

It rained all day and internet was spotty. The rain made me sleepy. I kept dozing off.

The cats just went out in the rain and came back in soaking wet and want to sit on me. LOL.
 

Flyover

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That's a tough situation Shan, not sure what else I can say. I have a lot of Indian friends for whom it's very normal, actually expected, that they'll live with their parents their whole lives and they seem to like it fine. I want to admire that but I personally don't know how it could be possible. My mom drives me nuts after five minutes on the phone and that's without us even arguing about anything. I guess ultimately we all just try to do better for our kids than our parents did for us.

I can't find the "before" pictures I took of my garage; they would make the "after" pictures more impressive. Oh well. Coming soon.
 

Spicoli43

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Sorry, Shan... You have to resign yourself to the fact she will never change. The way you describe it, I would figure out how to put her in a home. None of my business of course, but I don't think I could have any good emotions toward someone like that.
 

zannej

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It's pretty common in Chinese/Asian families for the children to stay with their parents. They usually don't have large families though. You'll have the grandparents, their grown sons and the son's wife & kid(s). The daughters are expected to move in with the husband's parents when they get married. Until then, they often stay with their own parents. It was about the same in Guam. It usually meant that they had constant childcare if the grandparents were still alive and/or aunts/uncles still lived there. I remember in Singapore they would have quite a few people living in a flat (apartment).

Although, in Guam they had a tradition of the parents having kids in their teens and the kids being raised by the grandparents. The parents could party, go to school, start work, etc while the kids were being raised and then when their kids were teens and started having kids, they would take on the role of parents to the grandkids. It wasn't uncommon for the grandparents to be far more attached to the grandkids than the parents were. And they had pretty big families there.

It's tough with family because it's harder to just kick them out or move away because there is so much societal pressure to take care of them. Sometimes it is rewarding. Other times there are people so toxic that the best thing to do is to cut them out of your life. Sad thing is, there are perfectly nice people who were nothing but kind to their kids but the kids are spoiled & not willing to help. I can see if the parents are a-holes, but some people give and give and all the offspring do is take. Then you have the reverse. Like my friend's mom who is always trying to bum money off of my friend. He's the only one of his siblings who is even on speaking terms with her because she has gotten on the last nerve of all of his sisters.

Today I cleaned up after my brother and around 7:30pm he decided he wanted me to take him to the grocery store. He wasn't willing to go earlier when I'd asked. It was raining but I found him an umbrella. I'm fine with getting rained on. Despite what kids may think, I won't melt if I get water on me. :p

Also, this weather map sort of reminds me of a commercial for erectile dysfunction.
1631688676797.png
 

Flyover

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Of my Indian friends, two (one male, one female) are close enough that I can relate their situations in more detail. Both are married (not to each other, haha) and live with their parents, though neither have kids of their own (yet?). The male friend at least has a very large family, all in India where he is too. The female friend lives here, as do her siblings and mom (and actually her situation is less conventional because her mom only moved in after being diagnosed with cancer so my friend is taking care of her), but her extended family is mostly in India and I'm not sure if it's an especially large family. The way Indians use "aunt" and "uncle" for both the literal "parent's sibling" and "friend who happens to be older" it's hard to tell sometimes how big the family really is, haha. (Some people in the US use "cousin" and "close friend" interchangeably too, it's funny.)

In my experience at least, kids have to be threatened just to keep them OUT of the rain. "Can I go play in the ditch in front of the house" (regardless whether we're about to leave to go somewhere or if it's time to sit down and eat dinner or whatever) is a pretty common refrain in my house if there's a heavy downpour. They're cute in their raincoats and boots though, it's fun to watch. It's my wife who acts like she'll melt. Personally, I have never owned an umbrella.

Reminds me though: we took our two youngest kids to the zoo this spring and it started rain storming really heavily as we were walking back to the car. I had the baby in a harness. It was her first experience being out in the rain and she got so excited, she was gasping and laughing and all four limbs were going full speed at once, it was hilarious. She thought it was some kind of special outdoor bathtime.

Zannej, your brother doesn't drive either??
 
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Spicoli43

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I have heard that Italians live with their families until they get married. I guess they don't mind it??? With never ending pasta, okay. If it was me... 2 weeks past my 18th Birthday, full up on pasta...

"Mom, I'm moving out and going on a Paleo diet"...

"You're F**** doing WHAT? You get your F***** A*** in here and shut the door, young man, don't you even think of F******** wait until your Father is home, he's going to Holy S***** Is the ceiling on my life collapsing, I'm dying!!! He's gonna rip your B**** off, you ingrate F***** Don't worry about me, I'll be dead in the morning, you take care of your 19 Sisters and Brothers, take all your 3 shirts and your pair of shoes that we slaved to buy you, go ahead, break our hearts"....

I agree with the standard US idea of moving out when you're 17 or so and getting struck with economic lightning so you know how the real world works.

Zannej... I have never seen a 30 MPH Hurricane before. ??? There's nothing registering on the Earth site.
 

BuzzLOL

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I have heard that Italians live with their families until they get married.

I agree with the standard US idea of moving out when you're 17 or so and getting struck with economic lightning so you know how the real world works.
By now I think most with Italian ancestry live like most other Americans...
I thought 'standard US' was save money by living with parents until graduating college and thus qualifying for a job your own family can live on through child bearing age...
 

Spicoli43

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By now I think most with Italian ancestry live like most other Americans...
I thought 'standard US' was save money by living with parents until graduating college and thus qualifying for a job your own family can live on through child bearing age...
Could be. Their families are tight knit though, they don't stray far.

I have never heard of living with the parents until graduating college.
 

BuzzLOL

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Could be. Their families are tight knit though, they don't stray far.

I have never heard of living with the parents until graduating college.
You talk like Italians are from another planet...
I assume 2nd comment is sarcasm...
 

Spicoli43

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I have literally never heard of a kid staying with their parents through college. I never lived in cities where the rent / mortgage was insane though. People I knew my age after HS all had apartments and jobs, some went to college and lived in dorms.
 

BuzzLOL

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I have literally never heard of a kid staying with their parents through college. I never lived in cities where the rent / mortgage was insane though. People I knew my age after HS all had apartments and jobs, some went to college and lived in dorms.
Only the kids with well off parents have the money to live in dorms plus pay tuition... most college students are commuters from home..
 

Flyover

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I have literally never heard of a kid staying with their parents through college. I never lived in cities where the rent / mortgage was insane though. People I knew my age after HS all had apartments and jobs, some went to college and lived in dorms.
This was a new thing to me too, when I discovered many of my peers doing it after I moved out at 18 (though nobody I knew from high school did this). Even in the low-cost-of-living city I moved to, I guess it still allowed the kids to save more money. And I think a lot of the parents had anxieties about their kids moving out too. (Not sure why; I look forward to being an empty nester!)

Yesterday after moving the power outlet I hung a 98" long 2x4 across the masonry wall in my mechanical room and added a brace in the middle so I could have a place to hang my guitars. Gonna actually drill the holes and put the hooks in today.
 

Spicoli43

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Only the kids with well off parents have the money to live in dorms plus pay tuition... most college students are commuters from home..
Maybe you're right. I'm talking about 3 decades ago. Everybody I knew could afford an apartment with a roommate and still take College classes and go to the bars. Jobs in Construction or at the Navy Shipyard made it easy to afford.

Now, in a town where fast food or the gas station are the employers, that wouldn't work.
 

Eddie_T

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We had to travel to go to college. Most that I knew came home for summers, I did until the end was in sight then I went to school year round until I finished.
 

Flyover

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Once I moved out (age 18 right after high school) I was out. I moved across the country, actually. My mom moved too (she moved in with her boyfriend in another state; before that we'd been renting half a duplex). There was no "going back home". My home became where I lay my head. I felt like a grown-up because I was on my own -- no care packages, no taking my laundry home for mommy to do, not even phone calls because I didn't have a cell phone.

@Spicoli: which isn't to say I could afford it. :p I pretty much starved until I was in my late 20s, despite working up to 3 jobs at a time.

I'm a bit alarmed about all the people my age (mid/late-30s) who now talk about "adulting". Like, WTF y'all been doing the past two decades??
 
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