What did you do today?

[oldognewtrick]

As for the tequila I'm sipping on, I can't tell if it's helping or hurting.

Wow, my life is like a country and western song right now.

I guess time will tell.

 

[slownsteady]

A little tequila is always helpful. A lot of tequila......well, not so much.

 

[Gary]

Spent the day building a material lift for the large format printer. Those 54" rolls of media get heavier as I get older. It's a wireless remote ATV winch with nylon cable and a 12v transformer so I can use house current. Used a uni-strut / trolley so I can move the rolls from the rack to the printer. It's something I've been wanting to do for years, but recent back problems gave me the incentive to get it done.

 

[Flyover]

Gary, that's really cool. So you just manually hook up the harness or whatever the rolls are carried on, then press a button to hoist it over to the printer, then put it in place and unhook the harness?

To address previous comments, I like to sip a 2oz glass of tequila now and then. Nothing crazy, but it's enough to feel my mouth get a little numb.

 

[Gary]

Yup, that' it. Sure beats dropping the rolls over the back of the printer. More important, it's easier than getting them back off the printer, lifting them up and over.

 

[zannej]

Flyover, I'm glad people at work are showing you appreciation. That makes things bittersweet.

Gary, that is awesome!!

I've been busy dealing with crazy life stuff again. Things really hit the fan with my best friend & the situation with his ex & their daughter. The ex had been making the daughter sleep in the same bedroom as her older half-brother & the girl started getting UTIs. I reluctantly expressed to my friend that I was concerned there might be sexual abuse going on but he said the boy was too young for that. Awhile later his ex suddenly had her boyfriend build a new room in the trailer for the girl so she had her own bedroom. But, she still put them in the bath together unsupervised. Anyway, it turns out I was right. The ex's boyfriend caught the boy doing inappropriate things to his sister TWICE (at least that he would admit to my friend). First time he was playing with himself in front of his sister & she was laughing. Second time he was actually molesting her. She said it had been going on for a long time. The ex claimed it had only been a month since it happened-- but she continued to let the boy be around his sister unsupervised. Now, back when I was suspicious I tried to get the girl to talk about what was happening at her mother's house, but I'm no child interview specialist & I know that a well-meaning person can unintentionally sway a child to say something that isn't true. She told me that her brother was "hurting" her but when I asked for details she said he punched her in the stomach and beat her up. I asked her if she told her mother & she said her mother didn't believe her & punished her & that she couldn't tell her mother anymore bc she'd get punished & she didn't want to be around her brother. I told my friend & he confronted the ex about it & said it better stop happening.
Anyway, so these people knew there had been abuse for at least a month before telling my friend about it-- and the only reason they told him was bc the girl blurted it out when they were all together so they explained it. As soon as I found out I told my friend to call DCFS. He was afraid his daughter would be put in foster care, but I made it my mission to get it reported & I convinced him to call them & report it. Once it was reported I went over to the child's doctor (who is also my doctor) & talked to the clerk to give the message to the doctor about what was happening with the girl. She put a note in the file & said she was going to tell him asap so he could see what DCFS wanted him to do & see about referrals for an exam for her.

So, now we are trying to get my friend's house fixed up so DCFS won't say it's "unsafe" for her to live in-- although it's a lot cleaner & nicer than the trailer she's in with the p.o.s. that's supposed to be her mother. But right now the mother is holding the kid & refusing to let my friend see her (although she doesn't know DCFS was called). I'm just worried that the brother will continue the abuse bc the mother said there's no point in even trying to tell her son to stop bc he won't listen. He wasn't even punished or chewed out for it when he was caught. Mind you, he's still pretty young, so he might not really understand what he's doing, but the mother is doing nothing to protect her daughter. To say I'm miffed about the situation is an understatement.

I think my friend's house is in good enough condition-- there's another friend who didn't have his kids taken away & his yard was pretty much a junkyard of old vehicles & the place was a total mess. They did tell him he needed to clean it up, but they let him keep the kids. I just hope both kids can get the help they need in terms of therapy & that they are both removed from the mother's custody permanently.

I've been trying to keep up with the cleaning in the house but fell behind again bc I've been sick. I need to get up and sweep the floor today.

 

[Flyover]

@zannej I'm glad you made the call to talk to your friend about that. It's a really tough call to make, and in some cases (hopefully not this one) it could cost you a friendship, but that little girl's long-term health is worth it. Good for you, that took a lot of guts!

 

[zannej]

Flyover, I'm glad I did it as well. My friend has been dealing with a lot lately so it was extremely stressful for him. Normally I if I know something is a sore point with him, I don't bring it up much, but with something this important I could not just let it slide or drop. I pestered him for HOURS. I even contacted a friend in another state who is a pediatrician to ask her for input & she stressed that calling DCFS was paramount. She said if he didn't report it he could lose custody permanently. I told him that & made it clear that however much he feared his daughter being taken away if he reported it, she absolutely *would* be taken away if it was discovered later & he hadn't reported it. I also said it would help him if he wanted to take her away from her mother & he could tell the cops he'd reported sexual abuse to DCFS. I actually communicated with his fiance & she said that she was going to call if he wouldn't so she tag-teamed him with me until he finally called. He's heard some horror stories about foster care & the family that adopted his fiance kind of messed her up (no sexual abuse, but there was emotional abuse) so the idea of his daughter being taken into foster care terrifies him. I made him promise me he was going to call & he said he was going to do it later in the day & then the next day so I told him I know it was hypocritical of me to complain about procrastinating, but that this was something that was urgent so he finally called that day. I'm just hoping they get the girl out of there asap. As far as I know, his ex has no idea about the call. I'm sure she'll have a major fit about it. What I'm hoping is that both kids get removed from her custody, my friend can get full custody & cut off his ex's phone (which he pays for) & stop paying her child support & that the ex only gets supervised visits.

I think my friend is now somewhat relieved but still nervous about what will happen. Reporting it was just the first step. He has multiple people who are willing to testify on his behalf about what an unfit mother his ex is. The sad thing is, her current boyfriend is actually a nice guy but he could be in a lot of trouble for not reporting the abuse when he saw it. We have all tried to warn him that the twunt he's with will ruin his life. I just hope that the ex & her boyfriend don't lie & deny it and that the ex doesn't manipulate the daughter in to lying or recanting.

Fortunately, my friend appreciates it because he knows I'm doing this to help him & his daughter. On one of his next days off I'm going to see about getting him some drywall & luaun for his pantry so he can move some stuff in to his pantry (which was the old kitchen). Then we can look at cabinets for his kitchen. He already has one piece with oak doors & trim so oak would probably be best & the surplus warehouse place has a good selection. We're going to price things out & see which store has better options.

In terms of home projects, I need to replace my bedroom door. It's hollow core & now there is a hole at the bottom from the cats digging to try to get in/out of the room. It also won't stay shut properly so the cats & the dog can push it open when it's locked. I have a door picked out at the store, I just need to go see how it looks & make sure it has the right handing (I think the picture on the HomeDepot website is wrong).

 

[zannej]

My friend got a letter from DCFS telling him they were not going to investigate the report because it didn't meet their standards & policy for abuse or neglect. WTF? Seriously? How is continued sexual abuse that caused UTIs NOT considered abuse? How is it NOT neglect for the mother to allow it to continue & not report it?

 

[slownsteady]

Hey Flyover, do you have a favorite tequila? Most people can't drink it straight or on the rocks....but that's cuz they haven't tried a good quality tequila (IMHO). Best you can do with most tequilas is shoot it down fast and hope it skips your taste buds. My favorite for some time now is Tres Generacions (probably didn't spell it right)

 

[Flyover]

How is continued sexual abuse that caused UTIs NOT considered abuse? How is it NOT neglect for the mother to allow it to continue & not report it?

It's a pain, but maybe have your friend try to get a doctor to verify as much as possible and share those documents?

@slownsteady I've only ever bought a few different brands, never anything very fancy. Cuervo, Altos, Sauza, etc. I've had 1800 and Petron a few other fancier small-name brands at bars and those were even better obviously, but out of my price range if I was going to buy a whole bottle to have at home. Sauza makes a fancy version that's 100% blue agave, and I thought that was pretty smooth. Regular Sauza obviously isn't, but it's still OK for me. (I have a bottle of that right now.)

I'm not that picky about my tequila, so long as it's reposado. I must be one of those weirdos who likes the taste and can just sit there sipping it neat even if it's cheap and relatively harsh.

 

[Flyover]

I can tell you my favorite whiskey, though: Gentleman's Jack.

 

[Gary]

Got a start on a new project. Tore out all but a few plants and a fair amount of weeds from the flower bed today. Replant to follow, once we figure out what to plant. Also have an office window sash to replace, but I'm having a hard time locating one. It's a 2000 vintage Pella with low E glass, standard off the shelf size, at the time we purchased them. No big box stores around here carry Pella, (they did when I bought them) and the on-line Pella sights want you to give them your life history and schedule a representative to come out and sell you windows. I just need a sash. I think I may have a line on a local Pella installer. Just have to get their contact info. from a customer of mine that suggested him.

 

[zannej]

Flyover, it's extremely aggravating because the child is continuing to be abused. I spoke with her today. She's been trying to stop her brother from touching her but he's been covering her mouth so she can't scream and "hurting" her. She told her mother & her mother spanked her for it-- and she doesn't even know why she was spanked. Her mother knows she's being abused & is punishing her for it. The kid has been depressed about the abuse & wants it to stop & is upset that she gets punished for it on top of being hurt. She needs to be out of that situation asap. Tomorrow they are calling the kids' shrink, & trying to talk to a judge to get a temporary custody order to protect her. I've been having trouble sleeping bc I'm so enraged at this kid's useless mother.

Gary, good luck with the gardening. Lovely photos. I love the one with the bee!

I found the countertops that match the one my friend already has on clearance. He needed the mitered one for some corner cabinets. It was in Lake Charles though so we drove down there & picked them up. Stopped to eat at a Hibachi place. I'm currently on the phone with my friend discussing tomorrow's plans. I'm going to go with to tell the judge & the shrink what's going on.

 

[slownsteady]

Zannej, The boy is going to need counseling as much as the girl.

 

[zannej]

Zannej, The boy is going to need counseling as much as the girl.

I completely agree. I'm worried about how he's going to turn out. He's already shown several markers for being a serial killer. He's a bed-wetter, hurt animals, burned down a house, has no empathy, threatens other children, abuses his sister both physically & sexually, & is often neglected by his mother. He can be a very sweet boy when given affection & positive input but his mother is just a complete piece of crap who ignores him, hits him, swears at him, & tells him to go away. I witnessed him walking through the door when he just got home from school & saying "Mama!" excitedly because he was happy to see her & she just angrily shouted "God, what the f*** do you want?!" in response. I also heard her telling him he was "f***ing retarded". I feel sorry for the kid. If he'd had a decent mother he probably wouldn't be like this.

 

[Flyover]

@zannej Is there a way to take video of any of this? Judges, lawyers, & bureaucrats might find it persuasive.

You obviously already know this, but this is the internet so I feel compelled to add for the benefit of anyone who randomly finds this page: please turn your phone on wi-fi mode when using it to record video of a sensitive nature. Get the video off your phone as soon as possible, using a reasonably secure connection (from most to least secure: USB cable > Bluetooth > emailing it to yourself -- and, duh, NEVER send or post it on social media), and then copy it to a USB thumb drive. Give the thumb drive to the judge or lawyer. With bureaucrats it's better to show them the video on your phone, without handing them the phone, and only relinquish the thumb drive to an accountable authority.

If you've already done that and your friend's situation really is decent and they still won't give your friend custody, then your friend should lawyer up. There are law firms that take on cases like this pro bono.

 

[zannej]

Thanks, Flyover. I no longer have contact with my friend's ex because I can't stand her. There's no real way to get video now BUT we went to the DA's office today & he talked to several people who connected him with someone from the sheriff's department & then we went to the sheriff's department for an in-person interview. The first visit took about 30 min & it was over an hour at the sheriff's taking down info. The guy from the DA's office has daughters so he was motivated to protect the little girl.

I learned more details-- such as, her brother has been sneaking into her room at night after their mother goes to bed. He then abuses her & when she tried to run out of the room to get help, her brother grabbed her & covered her mouth and then dragged her back into the room to abuse her. The mother refused to get either one of them counseling because she said it's pointless. She promised my friend she would keep an eye on the kids and not leave them alone together, but she didn't-- she leaves them alone together during the daytime while she plays on her computer or phone. And now the daughter is afraid to tell on her brother (at least to her mother) because she gets punished for it. My friend also messaged his daughter's principal to give him a heads up about what is going on bc she has an appointment tomorrow to be interviewed. There are multiple people who will testify to the neglect & mistreatment we've witnessed. At least they are taking things seriously now & hopefully my friend can get custody & both kids can get counseling.

I forgot to add that because there's an appointment tomorrow, we decided to get the cabinets today. I helped bring them in, cleaned the floor, & helped get stuff in place. My brother showed up & helped too. I got shims so the cabinets got shimmed to be level-- still not perfect but better than before. We still need to cut off the overhang near the doorway. There will be end caps put on as well. There are some grooves on the bottom of the countertops where something is supposed to go to hold them together but I'm not sure what goes there & the countertops didn't come with anything. The plan is to get them tight together & level then mark where to cut & take one of the pieces down to my workshop to use the tablesaw to trim it.

Sometime this week I will probably stain the cabinets & maybe do a clear overcoat to seal it.



A lot of stuff had to be moved & flooring will go in later, but for now there is counter space. Hooray.
Also, my friend likes his toast on the dark side.

Litterbox will obviously be moved somewhere else. We're going to have to fix up the pantry either this week or next week. At least we are going to get some insulation in though.

 

[Flyover]

please turn your phone on wi-fi mode when using it to record video of a sensitive nature

Oops, meant to write AIRPLANE MODE, not wi-fi mode. The point is to prevent even accidentally sending the video out.

 

[zannej]

Oops, meant to write AIRPLANE MODE, not wi-fi mode. The point is to prevent even accidentally sending the video out.

That's what I figured you meant.