The Joke thread

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Don't forget licks everything and picks stuff up off the ground to eat.
 
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:D :-D
 
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck.

The lawyer turns around.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
 
This whole country has become a joke.
 
300 million people and those two are the best we can do?:(:eek:
 
Our younger generation has been taught to be sensitive pussies. We are far to concerned with feelings to do anything for the better. Look at black lives matter? A bunch of racist thugs and we are being told we have accept it and if we don't we are evil. Worst part is, we are doing what they want and not fighting back. They take our rights one by one and we are letting them.
 
My uncle sent me a birthday card with a newspaper clipping of a joke article. I'm going to paraphrase the joke rather than quote it.

A federal agent went to a farm an told the farmer he was there to search the property for drugs. The farmer said "Ok, but you might want to stay out of that field over there" as he pointed at a particular field.
The agent got huffy, pulled out his badge and angrily said "You see this ***ing badge? It means I can go wherever the **** I want and do whatever the **** I want!" (At which point I had to silently nitpick that he would need a warrant)
The farmer apologized and the agent started his search. Several minutes later the farmer heard loud screams. He looked out to the field he'd indicated to avoid and saw the agent running for his life with a large bull chasing him. As the bull drew closer, the farmer jumped up on the fence and shouted to the agent "Your BADGE! Show him your ****ing badge!!"
 
Rusty said:
300 million people and those two are the best we can do?:(:eek:
Click to expand...

Honestly we need to vote for our parties. Too many people are voting for the other side just because they don't like who we chose to be the face for the next four years. It is really pathetic that it has come to this and this is the most screwed up election I have seen. We need to start teaching our young to educate themselves and do their own research before deciding who to vote for. It's pretty simple, find the party that best suites your future goals and vote that way. I personally don't care what side you are voting for as long as you know why you are voting.
 
Chris said:
Honestly we need to vote for our parties. Too many people are voting for the other side just because they don't like who we chose to be the face for the next four years. It is really pathetic that it has come to this and this is the most screwed up election I have seen. We need to start teaching our young to educate themselves and do their own research before deciding who to vote for. It's pretty simple, find the party that best suites your future goals and vote that way. I personally don't care what side you are voting for as long as you know why you are voting.
Click to expand...

Everyone is so easily influence by what ever comes across social media. Very few take the time to research what the candidates actually stand for. As far as parties. BOTH have sold us out for political gain. NEITHER one cares about people anymore, it's all about power and money. One is not any better than the other, just different. Makes me sick to my stomach to see the direction we're heading...
 
On the local and state level, I research the candidate and vote strictly by that. So I vote for some from each party.
Missouri's governor race is the strange one. The Democrat, was a Republican until 2008. The Republican was a Democrat until 2009. The NRA and the Farm Bureau are both supporting the Democrat. The Democrat was investigated for corruption. The Republican started an organization to collect donations for veterans and them took $700,000 in salary and another $600,000 for image consultants for his campaign.
 
I think one thing that would really help is money, make it a normal paying job and make it illegal to accept any other form of money for anything else. You would get people that actually want to do good for you and not people trying to get rich. Way too much money flying around out there.
 
I was wondering why all this dialog is in the joke thread, then I realized that these days, politics are really a joke.
 
As I was typing the above response, one of our big national news gave us breaking news as if we just had a huge earthquake. They went on to say that ABC News, (owner of Disney and a real liberal bunch of idiots) have found two women who just advised that Donald Trump touched them inappropriately 30 years ago. GIVE ME A FRICKING BREAK!
 
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