H
havasu
Guest
Good lord. We are a sick bunch!
Merry Christmas Chris!
Merry Christmas Chris!
Funny Pictures and stories....
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slownsteady
Well-Known Member
As long as it didn't need carbon dating, it is considered fresh.
zannej
Well-Known Member
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- Jun 5, 2014
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Cute little thing about a guy judging a chili contest
http://www.tickld.com/x/jaw/man-gets-selected-to-be-a-judge-at-a-cook-out-hilarious
http://www.tickld.com/x/jaw/man-gets-selected-to-be-a-judge-at-a-cook-out-hilarious
nealtw
Contractor retired
That would be me...
frodo
Senior Member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2008
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he lady was a southern woman who attended church services and taught Sunday School every week.
One Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was.
While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, “How about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?”
“Why yes, that would be nice”, the lady responded.
Well, the gentleman couldn’t believe his luck.
On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in town. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, “Would you like a cocktail before dinner?”
“Oh, no,” said the fine example of southern womanhood. “What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?”
Well, the gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn’t say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, “Would you like a smoke?”
“Oh my goodness no,” said the woman. “I couldn’t face my Sunday School class if I did!”
Well, the man felt pretty low after that, so they left and got into his car. As he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He’d been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, “Ahhh, hhhhmmmm, how would you like to stop at this motel?”
“Sure, that would be nice,” she said in anticipation.
The gentleman couldn’t believe his ears. He did a fast u-turn right then and there, drove back to the motel and checked in!
The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible lovemaking imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darlin’ lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, “What have I done?”
He shook her awake and pleaded, “I’ve got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?”
The lady said, “The same thing I always tell them, ‘You don’t have to smoke and drink to have a good time.’”
One Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was.
While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, “How about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?”
“Why yes, that would be nice”, the lady responded.
Well, the gentleman couldn’t believe his luck.
On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in town. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, “Would you like a cocktail before dinner?”
“Oh, no,” said the fine example of southern womanhood. “What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?”
Well, the gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn’t say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, “Would you like a smoke?”
“Oh my goodness no,” said the woman. “I couldn’t face my Sunday School class if I did!”
Well, the man felt pretty low after that, so they left and got into his car. As he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He’d been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, “Ahhh, hhhhmmmm, how would you like to stop at this motel?”
“Sure, that would be nice,” she said in anticipation.
The gentleman couldn’t believe his ears. He did a fast u-turn right then and there, drove back to the motel and checked in!
The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible lovemaking imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Dixie darlin’ lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, “What have I done?”
He shook her awake and pleaded, “I’ve got to ask you one thing, whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?”
The lady said, “The same thing I always tell them, ‘You don’t have to smoke and drink to have a good time.’”
nealtw
Contractor retired
The Pfizer Corporation announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and this new product will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old-fashioned stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day...There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2025, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old-fashioned stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day...There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2025, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
H
havasu
Guest
Hell, I'm there now! :rofl:
oldognewtrick
In memory of
..........
slownsteady
Well-Known Member
check out this guy......
https://youtu.be/Ok5d8nXAngw
https://youtu.be/Ok5d8nXAngw
oldognewtrick
In memory of
I watched it twice, Thunderstruck by AC/DC was even better.
slownsteady
Well-Known Member
Yeah. Just found him last night; already a fan. He has chops. And some interesting technique. I'm glad I saw the video, because I would not have realized how he was playing it.
nealtw
Contractor retired
[ame]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20yzzh_car-crashes-compilation_auto[/ame]
oldognewtrick
In memory of
..........
nealtw
Contractor retired
Does that mean I shouldn't respond before you talk.:agree:
oldognewtrick
In memory of
At the end of the day, does it really matter?
nealtw
Contractor retired
oldognewtrick
In memory of
It won't if I am not listening anyway.
You never do, I'd be worried if you started now...
