My ex was In town.
Pretty soon it wil be the norm to be high all the time.
Can't beat em, might as well join em.
Two workers from a landscape company showed up one morning at a job site, but realized that they forgot to bring shovels.
They called their boss: Hey patron, we forgot the shovels.
Boss: OK, let me bring some shovels to you, and in the meantime, you can lean on each other...
DIVORCE versus MURDER
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked up to the
Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The Pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The Pharmacist's eyes grew big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give
you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll
throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You
CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with
the Pharmacist's wife.
The Pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
A Jewish man is walking on the beach when he discovers a bottle containing genie. He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish. He says, "Peace in the Middle east, that's my wish." The genie looks concerned, then says "No, I'm sorry, that's just not possible. Some things just can't be changed. Do you have another wish?" The guys says 'Well...for my whole life I've never received oral sex from my wife. That would be my wish." The genie pauses for another moment and then says "How would you define peace?"
What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving?
Quack - quack!
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