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A set of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says he can stay provided he doesn't start anything.
 
Did you hear the one about the 2 antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn't much to write about but the reception was great!
 
I still remember hearing the recording of an emergency call in the UK (can't remember if it was Scotland or England) and the guy calls in and his complaint was: "Me girlfriend let the cat eat me bacon!" and the operator asked him what he wanted them to do bout it. "Arrest em!" and the operator very calmly says "Your girlfriend or the cat?" and the guy says "Both of em!"
 
....

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwNsdcAXwE4[/ame]
 
I just got back from the golf course . Will post final steps in a little bit O.
 
That elevator video was hilarious!
Not really a joke, but I found it funny. My friend thought he had a rat in his kitchen. Turns out it was a raccoon and it walked off with his pen. He looked in the kitchen and saw it (thinking a rat was in there) and the raccoon had his pen and just looked at him. He opened the front door and the raccoon just moseyed on out with the pen.
 

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