The Joke thread

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You mean triplets?
 
They don't even do that anymore, our elections lately have just been slamming the other guy, dragging whatever they can out of the closet and trying to explain away their pasts.
 
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ''How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?''
''Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.''
 
Pretty soon it wil be the norm to be high all the time.

Can't beat em, might as well join em.
 
Chris said:
Pretty soon it wil be the norm to be high all the time.

Can't beat em, might as well join em.
Click to expand...

Which is why I stay out in the country away from people. Don't want to join them. LOL.
 
Two workers from a landscape company showed up one morning at a job site, but realized that they forgot to bring shovels.

They called their boss: Hey patron, we forgot the shovels.

Boss: OK, let me bring some shovels to you, and in the meantime, you can lean on each other...
 
Rusty said:
Two workers from a landscape company showed up one morning at a job site, but realized that they forgot to bring shovels.

They called their boss: Hey patron, we forgot the shovels.

Boss: OK, let me bring some shovels to you, and in the meantime, you can lean on each other...
Click to expand...

Thats funny but true.:eek:
 
This made me laugh out loud.

Chris said:
DIVORCE versus MURDER

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the Pharmacy, walked up to the
Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide."

The Pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The Pharmacist's eyes grew big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give
you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll
throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You
CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with
the Pharmacist's wife.

The Pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Click to expand...
 
Thats like spell fuschia and it says Red.
awesome joke though.

cruzn57 said:
A Jewish man is walking on the beach when he discovers a bottle containing genie. He rubs it and a genie comes out, promises to grant him one wish. He says, "Peace in the Middle east, that's my wish." The genie looks concerned, then says "No, I'm sorry, that's just not possible. Some things just can't be changed. Do you have another wish?" The guys says 'Well...for my whole life I've never received oral sex from my wife. That would be my wish." The genie pauses for another moment and then says "How would you define peace?"
Click to expand...
 
What disease did cured ham actually have?
 
What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving?


















Quack - quack!
 
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