The Joke thread
- Thread starter Chris
- Start date
Help Support House Repair Talk:
Woman walks by the bathroom, sees man standing on scale sucking in his stomach.
She says " That is not going to help".
He says " Sure it does, It's the only way that I can see the numbers
She says " That is not going to help".
He says " Sure it does, It's the only way that I can see the numbers
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."
The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."
The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."
zannej
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A friend of mine posted this one so I screenshotted it and obscured her name for her privacy.
View attachment donutsfunny.png
View attachment donutsfunny.png
zannej
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ROTFLMAO!! I love it!
O
oldognewtrick
Guest
Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after their honeymoon, he was working on his motorcycle in the garage, just for fun.
His new wife was standing there at the workbench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally spoke .. "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling your motorcycle along with your gun collection and that stupid fishing gear."
Tom got a quizzical look on his face.
She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, "For a minute there you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"
Tom replied: "I wasn't."
One evening, after their honeymoon, he was working on his motorcycle in the garage, just for fun.
His new wife was standing there at the workbench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally spoke .. "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling your motorcycle along with your gun collection and that stupid fishing gear."
Tom got a quizzical look on his face.
She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, "For a minute there you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she shouted, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"
Tom replied: "I wasn't."
O
oldognewtrick
Guest
