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zannej

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Kangaroos will mess you up. They have very long sharp back claws and have been known to eviscerate people by grabbing them and kicking their guts. Happened to one of my co-workers at a zoo. They will also put you in a headlock and bite your face.

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Eddie_T

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Ninety-year-old Maude tells the sad story on how she lost her husband.

"Well, he needed a blood transfusion, but his blood type was not on record so the doctors asked me if I knew what it was as they needed to know in order to save my Norman's life. Tragically I've never known his blood type so I only had time to sit and say goodbye.

I'll never forget how supportive my Norman was. Even as he was fading away, he kept on whispering to me, "Be positive, be positive!"

That was my Norman, always thinking of others."
 

Eddie_T

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A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
 

Eddie_T

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A Humane Society did a Valentine's Day fundraiser by charging $5 to write an ex's name in their litter boxes.
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Eddie_T

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I guess rather than steak tartare that would be pop tart-rare.
 

Eddie_T

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Only in America ············· do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
 

Flyover

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There's a thread on here called "White powder in wall" that I keep misreading as "White power in wall" and momentarily thinking someone's got skinheads living in their stud bays or something. "1488 on center framing" hahaha
 

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