Overheard from a senior citizen, "I'm gunna have me a bacon cheeseburger and a chocolate malt before I go in. I'm convinced that the low-fat crap they feed us at the home don't actually make us live longer · · · all those years of not being able to taste our food just makes it seem a heck of a lot longer."
To save the economy, the Secretary of Homeland Security will announce next month that the Immigration and Customs Enforcement will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. A major study concluded that older people are easier to catch, offer less resistance, and, more importantly, will not remember how to get back home.
Be sure to send this notice to your relatives and friends so they'll know what happened to you.