Funny Pictures and stories....

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Spotted this on another forum;

I have a friend who is an ER doctor who bought a Tesla when they first came out because she believed all the hype. Yesterday she came up from the bay area driving a brand new Honda Ridgeline. She said she was paying way too much in electricity and time to drive the Tesla. Now she can just go to a gas station, fill up and go. She is much happier now.
I'd love to have a Tesla. They are really cool cars and 95% of my driving habits would work with the charge limitations, but....I'd hate to have only one source for powering all my devices. That would be really bad and stupid for competitive pricing. The government could/would control our driving habits by pricing electricity high. Can you imagine if everything ran on electric and there's only one source to provide it in each neighborhood?
The people who are supposed to fill pot holes out on my road have actually gotten stuck in them. LOL. Doesn't happen in town because they don't fill in pot holes.

I think I remember reading or hearing a story about a pot hole in a town that was very dangerous but city wouldn't fill it. So one of the neighbors got a cop to engage in a high speed chase with them & led them down the road with the pot hole. Neighbor was on a motorcycle and dodged the pot hole. Cop hit the pot hole, popped the tires & flew off the road. Cop was uninjured but the car was messed up. City filled the pot hole the next day. Neighbor sold the motorcycle out of town and never got busted for it.

Funny clean jokes​

1. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

2. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

3. What vegetable is cool, but not that cool? Rad-ish.

4. I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

5. Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? She took a day off.

6. Worrying works! Case in point: 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

7. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate. I told them, “Just you wait!”

8. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

9. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know which comes first.

10. What do you call a magician who lost his magic? Ian.

11. I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I am OK.

12. I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He told me they all look that way and I should have left it in the garden.

13. Two men are on opposite sides of the river. The first man shouts, “How do I get to the other side of the river?” The other man yells, “You are on the other side of the river!”

14. Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect Goth-ham.

15. Every morning, I announce that I’m going running, but then I don’t. It’s a running joke.

16. Why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long? Because if it were 12 inches, it would be afoot.

17. What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.

18. What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barbecue.

19. I was going to tell a time-travelling joke, but you didn’t like it.

20. I can’t take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.