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When I'm mad at my youngest, that's baby beef. I call it veal. "I've got veal with [youngest's name] this morning because she wouldn't go to sleep easily last night"
 
My brother used to live in NYC and one time when he and his son who was like 3 or 4 at the time were crossing the street, Peter Dinklage pulled up in the back of a limo or whatever--the window was down and they could see that it was him--and my nephew pointed and said something innocent and funny (I don't remember what, but it was the kind of thing that would be offensive if a grown-up said it, like "that kid looks old" or something) and Dinklage apparently took it in stride with a great sense of humor. I guess you'd have to have that to be him and to have gotten that far.
 
Ads from the past;

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@Hamberg I might be wrong but I'm pretty sure that one is Photoshopped, and that no such beer or ad ever existed.
 
Why Teachers Drink? Simple they have read and grade questions like these.

Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is dew formed
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs


(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q... What happens to your body as you age
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A.. Premature death

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A.. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U

Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor.(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)


AND THE BEST IS LAST: ::

Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
 

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