Broken Beyond Repair

[applebear]

Thank you for the kind words Zann, it is hard to pick ourselves up...but have to try right? Trust was really shattered through this. But, through even the negative responses...not all have been so harsh and shown they can have compassion and understanding despite how everything happened.

It doesn't sound like the mold is going to be a huge deal, though I will have to face some hidden behind a panel in the back room at some point. Right now, it's at least contained and not being disturbed [except for what the contractor took out, which he did everything rambo style], which is what causes the bigger issue if I understand correctly.

The guys were just here, and they went all around the house, to see what they will look at doing now [siding the exposed side], and hopefully what can be done in the mean time as we hopefully eventually get rest of funds for future. He even thought *maybe* he could get some electrician buddies to volunteer some time to replace the fuseboxs themselves [not the outside stuff, since that that will most likely take city permits and bigger money].

Before I even said anything to him, he said the exact same thing as you guys when looking at the plywood on the side of the home, "This has to all be redone." He's not a professional, and things won't be perfect, but they should be better.

PS Chris, if for any reason we don't use your material...I will have it returned to store and refunded back to you. I couldn't tell if he could use it or not, but I don't think he looked real closely.

 

[zannej]

There are multiple television shows on now about people in similar situations to you, applebear-- in terms of trusting the wrong person. There are scumbags out there who will take advantage of people whenever they can. People with disabilities are the easiest targets for those scumbags. They like to prey on the most vulnerable. It really is sad. Even people who do everything right-- get references, check out background, etc... still get screwed over sometimes. Hindsight is 20/20 and its easy to look back and wish you had done things differently, but what's done is done. Best thing is to try to move forward.

I'm glad that you are making at least some progress on this so far. I hope things move forward quickly and smoothly from here on out.

 

[applebear]

I think you nailed it zannej, it's just time to move forward the best I can. It's hard some times to accept some things, but I'm just going to try to focus on the good ones and not let the negative swallow me up too much.

The guys were here Saturday and got a lot done, I wanted to share here first before updating anywhere else.

They took all that plywood down, explained why it was bowing in spots after they redid it. Everything is all insulated now too. It was strange to walk into my kitchen today and find light...it no longer feels like a cave.

I am just so grateful. We are slowly getting closer to the fuse boxes next, hopefully that goes without too many bumps.

 

[slownsteady]

Looks great Applebear. keep moving forward!

 

[inspectorD]

Yup... that looks like progress right there... glad someone came to help you out and give you a fresh start, a little at a time.

 

[Chris]

Looks great!

 

[zannej]

I know the feeling, applebear. My family had been screwed over on multiple occasions and I still have some bad blood with my neighbor/former tenants because of it. Granted it was nothing as dire as your situation, but I know that feeling of wishing I hadn't trusted the wrong people and having damage to the house and property because of it, and that we will never be able to recoup anything from those jerks. I find myself getting very angry at my neighbor, and there were times I considered retaliating somehow, but I always reminded myself that it wouldn't fix things. I've been trying to let go of some of the anger and move forward, but it can be tough-- especially with so much work to do to fix things up. I think you have been more proactive than I have and kudos to you on that front. It is inspiring me to try to do more.

I'm so glad that you are getting things done. My brother is actually going over to help a friend put up insulation on his house right now (an oak tree fell on his house and really messed it up-- he's had to do roof repair, replace some off the exterior walls, and now he's trying to get up insulation and siding). It all looks so easy on TV, but its a lot of work.

 

[applebear]

Part of it Zannej, is forgiving. Someday I will have to forgive him to truly move on...not for his sake, but my own. I'm nowhere near that point yet, but I'm aware enough to know it will have to come. Maybe when the wounds aren't so fresh.

But deep breath...I encourage you to also try to think of what your neighbors did, and maybe too someday be able to forgive so you can move on. Like you said, there have been times I too have thought "how can I get even," then remember getting even does nothing but make us the same monsters they are. Forgiving is hard, but at least you can sleep at night after.

No debate on looking easier than it is, I can see how hard these guys are working and they are putting so much effort into doing things as right as they know how. They came across a part under that big window, that was missing a 6 foot support...the wall just shook when they barely started hand chiseling some foam away. Now it doesn't budge.

 

[applebear]

I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude...it still gets in the 30s at night around here, and what a difference I feel. This house has always been breezy and cold, but you just never realize it can get worse.

I am waiting on one written appraisal for the fuse boxes, and it looks like we have raised enough to take on that next.

I sorted through the debris last week, took 3 days and 6-7 big bags later...still looks like a tornado ran through there, but it's at least sorted and heading in the right direction.

 

[nealtw]

Well, that sure looks better.:banana:

 

[applebear]

It's sure getting there isn't it?

 

[Chris]

I'm glad to see things are still moving forward.

 

[inspectorD]

That is Fantastic!!..See what a little community help can do...it comes in all kinds of ways, very happy for you!!
Keep helping any way you can...and always continue to pay it forward when your project is done, just like the folks helping you...that is what builds you back up.

 

[applebear]

Many from the community have been very kind, and those helping right now have tried to protect me from those being a bit negative...I see some of it, just try to keep moving forward. We still have to raise funds for the last 3 sides of the house, but I think we have accomplished a lot regardless-just so so grateful to all [you guys too!].

I think you are spot on about paying it forward, that it will be part of what is going to build me back up too. Can you help me with ideas on how to keep helping? I have asked if there is anything I can do, usually told no and then I worry I'm just getting in the way [so I shy away from asking again]...but I have to wonder if there are things I can do without being asked, and just not aware of them.

 

[Chris]

One thing you can do without getting in the way is by helping keep the work area clean. It saves the guys working a bunch of time that can be focused in work.

 

[inspectorD]

Well....
You can do whatever you feel is right, and are good at. That way you don't feel awkward when your trying to help, and folks aren't exactly appreciative.
Some folks that are helping you do it for their own reasons, most folks do. I appreciate the folks that are not underfoot, only because I really want to get them the help they need, and get myself done with the project. I like to chat it up a bit too, but thats my own thing.
Do what you feel comfortable doing, and do not hesitate to just go help someone else with something unrelated to your project.
That is how you help others, that may just need that small help, over the hump. Just like yourself...and us Kind folks here.

 

[applebear]

Thank you for the suggestions. I think some times I believe I have nothing to offer...but it helps to put it in prospective and gives me some ideas, maybe what I think 'isn't much' will be 'a lot' to someone else. Who knows, maybe help a little with my self confidence issues too.

 

[zannej]

I think one thing you can do is to share your story with other people and maybe even put the name of the contractor out there to warn people to beware him (if that is legal to do). You can do it via text and such. What happened to you can be a cautionary tale for others-- it can also help people who are in similar situations to see that they are not alone.

Also, if you can cook, maybe some cookies or brownies or refreshments or something for the people working might be good. Or even fruit or something.

 

[Chris]

Can we get an update!

I hope you keep plugging away at this. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day.

 

[applebear]

Absolutely Chris...just hasn't been a whole lot to update. The exposed side is about 98% done. I haven't seen the guy that is helping since the last time he was here, but talked to him briefly about the fusebox...he said he would give the electrician the deposit [some people have made donations directly to him] and talk to him [electrician] on the 20th. It doesn't seem he has, but I imagine he is super busy, so I try to be very courteous to that.

I got the debris completely bundled, bagged and sorted for next weeks junk day...I admit, I fell back a lot here. I think part of it was triggered by seeing things up close to where my hands were in it and just reliving the trauma of what happened. Another part is I got a bit of bad news, but I can't share it openly on the forum [if you want to pm, I can share there but it's nothing real surprising].

I suppose it's normal to stumble, but it's been a struggle to get back up. I'm so sorry I'm such a mess and if I'm letting anyone down, I am trying to keep moving forward...it's just harder some days.